Anyone that knows me knows that I hate the abuse and misuse of the word retarded. It’s so offensive. I hear it a lot from kids and teens, they are the ones I always take the time to try and explain why it’s wrong and offensive. And I hear it from adults, many of whom say “I don’t mean it that way”. I try and explain why it’s hurtful to them. Some listen (or pretend to). Others say I’m not hurting anyone, I don’t mean it to be mean.
Well, I know how I feel when I hear someone misuse the word retarded. I can only begin to imagine how someone with Down syndrome feels when they hear it. To be picked on and ostracized by people that don’t even know you personally, just because you have an extra chromosome. To be treated as though you can’t have an opinion. To hear implications that you aren’t smart. Those things must hurt an awful lot. I have a child with Down syndrome and I know that I still can’t give the proper words and give the feelings he must feel justice.
Well, there is someone that can. For anyone that thought people with Down syndrome couldn’t have an intelligent thought or conversation, I have something to say to you. Well, many things, but I’ll go with this one – you couldn’t be more wrong or farther from the truth.
John Franklin Stephens, a Special Olympics Global Messenger, and a man with Down syndrome by the way, has written an article that was published today on Huff Post. The article is entitled “I Am the Person You Hurt When You Say the R-Word“. He explains how use of the word retarded hurts him and others. It is truly magnificently written. It’s brilliant. The analogies he uses describe how I feel perfectly. It is worth the two minutes it will take you to read it. It’s truly the best post I’ve read in a very long time by anyone. Anyone who thinks people with Down syndrome don’t understand things that are being said needs to read this. Anyone who thinks people with Down syndrome can’t think intelligent thoughts needs to read this. And above all else, anyone who misuses and abuses the word retarded needs to read this.
If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll take the pledge to not use the r word. Just click on “pledge now” on the right hand side. You have no idea how much of a difference you as one person can make.
Thanks for this post… I’m going to read the article to my children
I seriously dislike when people use this word. Thanks for this post and spreading the word
Totally agree with you on all of this. I do think that many times, it’s a habit with people, but that’s why it takes standing up and saying something to get people to realize it’s not ok and it needs to stop. Thank you for posting about this.
It’s a strong word packed with a lot of negative tone. My sister was labeled slow as a child and she would get teased using the word retarded, it ruined her self esteem for many years. It had such an impact on her and still to this day 30 plus years later I cringe every time I hear it.
I’ve been so happy to see this campaign passing around facebook lately because I think a lot of people still haven’t caught on that it’s not an acceptable thing to say – I still occasionally hear people say it even in public situations so its clear that they just aren’t even thinking about the word but it can be so hurtful to others, we really need people to stop and think about the word and quit using it.
In another world that was reality too long ago, people did not use obscenities or insensitive words. It was a kinder and better world where manners, graciousness, and consideration showed. Then history took a turn as people demanded the right to express themselves. No one should use words to put down. Unfortunately too many people just don’t think enough to realize how sensitive a word can be even if its tone, gestures, and meaning is not toxic.
Exactly what world was this? People swore, used racial slurs, and used “insensitive” words. Until the late 70’s some states still had Ugly Laws still on the books. Do you know what they were? It was that businesses had the right to throw disabled people out, because people considered them “ugly” and didn’t want to be around them. The past wasn’t like some whitewashed tv sitcom. It is filled with some pretty horrible things.
We are improving, though. People at least know that this word is a slur, and a bad one at that. They just choose to still use it. Thankfully, most people don’t accept the use, and the person saying it, most of the time, ends up looking bad.
Wow, what a great article he wrote. Thanks for sharing the message.
It is a shame we still hear this word all too often. Great article and glad to see this making the rounds.
Re Debbie’s comment:
I agree with your statements about history. Fact is a lot of the prejudices and injustices you mention live on in the world of NOW. Rather what i am referring to is the iinsensitive behavior of people who would claim they can say what they want because they have that right because of freedom of speech. Too many F words, B words, and altogether vulgarities are insensitive, senseless putdowns on various people not just one particular group. Words change as do many outward behaviors. Looking at the soul within is the truth more unseem than seen. People are deceptive.