I have loved music for a very long time. I recall as a teenager I’d spend hours in my room, listening to music. Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was relaxing. Sometimes it was a way to escape. I’ve mentioned before, I was picked on in school. I was different. I was much younger then my classmates, which meant I looked and acted differently. I don’t know why it bothered them that I was younger. In retrospect I guess they felt threatened by someone that had equal or higher intelligence but was years younger. I know now it wasn’t my problem, it was theirs. But I didn’t know that then. The fact that I wasn’t liked or accepted really bothered me.
Anyway. I was brutally picked on as a teen. Not physically, but verbally, mentally and emotionally. Because of that, I hated school. I had no friends there. I didn’t have many friends outside of school, because all the kids that went to school together hung out together. I had a few friends but other then that it was just me. In my spare time I’d read or listen to music, two things I love to do to this day. Early on I’d learn the words to my favorite songs, as kids do. But I didn’t really hear what the words were saying. As time went by I realized that those lyrics had meanings. I started paying attention to lyrics. I found there were many bad song lyrics put to good music. There were also many good lyrics with bad music. The very best songs were, and are still, a fusion of both good lyrics and good music. Sadly, there’s more bad music then there is good music, even today.
If you’ve read Mom Knows It All before you may recall me mentioning the band Oleander. If you follow me on Twitter then you know I support the band. That’s because I love their music, I have for years. They make good music. Actually they make great music, but that’s not the point. They’re also just nice. Well, this post isn’t about them. But it is about their song Something Beautiful, to a point. Their current single Something Beautiful is an awesome song. It’s about as close to musical perfection as you can get, along with the rest of the album. Every song on that album has great music and lyrics. But Something Beautiful is the one that means a lot to me, because of the meaning I find in the lyrics. Before I share the meaning I find in those lyrics, let me share the lyrics.
Tell me what hurts the most,
Where you feel it in your bones.
Is this how you pictured yourself?
Do you feel like a ghost?
Half alive and so unknown?
Is this how you run from yourself?
And the undertow rushes in,
Pulls you out, pulls you in.
Spinning you all around,
Spinning you upside down.
And you don’t know which way is up,
And will this ever be enough
To make you whole, to fill your soul,
When all you want is
Something beautiful
That they can’t take away,
That no one can ever touch,
And nothing can replace.
Something beautiful
That you can call your own.
When the world shows its ugly side
All you want is something beautiful.
Something beautiful.
Can you touch the way you feel,
Or does it only fade to gray?
Is this how you cripple yourself?
And when the sky is caving in,
Crashing down from within,
Is this how you, you lose yourself?
Because you don’t know which way is up,
And will this ever be enough
To make you whole, to fill your soul,
When all we want is
Something beautiful
That they can’t take away,
That no one can ever touch,
And nothing can replace.
Something beautiful
That you can call your own.
When the world shows its ugly side
All you want is something beautiful.
Something beautiful.
Some things will never, will never, will never change
Some things will never, will never, will never change
Will never change
Unless you believe in
Something beautiful
Something beautiful
When all you want is
Something beautiful
That they can’t take away,
That no one can ever touch,
And nothing can replace.
Something beautiful
That you can call your own.
When the world shows its ugly side
All you want is something beautiful.
Something beautiful.
Well. Besides it’s musical splendor, on a personal level the song Something Beautiful has come to mean a lot to me. This song represents what I believe in and what I want out of life and society. I am terrified to die. Not out of fear of dying, but out of the fear of not knowing what will happen to my son when I’m gone. The idea of my son having to live in today’s society without me to look out for him scares the living crap out of me.
That picture up there is a picture I personally took of my son. I think he is beautiful, inside and out. Very, very soon you will read another post about that photo and this song and how recent events on Facebook relate. But for now, know that to me, Something Beautiful is for society to be a better place for my son, and for others with Down syndrome. Something Beautiful is what I stand up and advocate for on a daily basis. I hope and wish that society will someday be a place where people aren’t judged by their looks, or their abilities or lack there of. My son is shunned and given funny looks because he looks different than most children. He tries to talk to them and they avoid him. I hope and wish that someday people won’t label others based on anything other then who they are inside and how they treat each other. I dream of a society where parents teach their children it’s ok to be different, and to give everyone a chance. I dream of a society that offers a safe and accepting environment for all. I dream of a society where people don’t throw around a word like retard or retarded for every situation they don’t like because they are too lazy to look in a dictionary for an appropriate word. If society ever gets to the point where it’s anything like what I envision and fight for, it will surely be Something Beautiful.
Not a single day goes by that I don’t listen to this song. Not a single one. There have been a few occasions where I just put it on repeat and blast it, and somehow that, along with a hug and kiss from my son, helps make things a little better.
I leave you with the acoustic version of Something Beautiful, with the permission of the band Oleander.
Is there “Something Beautiful” that you dream of? If so I’d love it if you left a comment sharing what your Something Beautiful is.
If you happen to be interested, the album Something Beautiful is available on the Oleander website and iTunes. I make no money if you purchase it, I just share it because I think it’s a million kinds of awesome. If you are interested, you can keep up with the band on the  Oleander Facebook page . If you’re on Twitter, follow @OleanderBand on Twitter, they love hearing from people, tell them I sent you. 😉
A big thank you to Oleander, for graciously giving me permission to use this song in my post. And for making such real music.
This made me tear. You are awesome. C is awesome. Love you xoxo
Love you too Amy. It made me tear too. Oh hell, it made me cry.
I dream of a peaceful world for my two sons.
Francine, peace is a good thing, in all of its forms.
There is a saying I like to share on occasion: Poor folks have poor ways–I do not speak of financial worth. I think some people react based on their level of ignorance and fear. Anyone who would ridicule a child or person for his looks or level of abilities are Poor Folks with Poor Ways.
I have a brother who is bipolar. If I had my druthers, no one would ever use the word “crazy”–a mentally ill person sadly lives in isolation because of unreasonable societal bias and ignorance.
Your son is beautiful, and I’ll bet he is a sweet lad too. I look forward to reading future posts.
What a lovely picture that is and what an amazing mama you are. My something beautiful that I have always wanted is a child of my own. I hope I get there someday, but for now, I just have to keep trying and working for it 🙂
Thanks for this lovely post!
Heather, thank you. Children are amazing, worth everything and anything. My life would be empty without mine.
I share your dream, Val. I know that last week on Facebook was not beautiful. It makes me so upset when others judge, dismiss, and belittle the people around them. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand how people derive satisfaction out of being cruel; I feel good when I make other people feel good, and if I make someone feel bad by mistake, I feel AWFUL. I can’t relate to how it would feel to people who actually TRY to upset others because it gives them satisfaction. It’s a nasty cycle too, because those who get picked on learn to pick on others. UGH! Here’s to trying to build a more beautiful world!
Beeb – Thank you. Last week was probably the ugliest moment in time in my life, both for what those people did and for the anger I felt. It took me days just to be able to get through a whole day without crying and wanting to vomit. You are among one of the many whose support meant so much to me last week, thank you so much.
What they did had been removed by the time I heard about it, but I can only imagine. You know, I saw a documentary while back – I wish I could remember the name of it – about this couple who adopted I think 20 children, all with various special needs – heart problems, non-verbal autism, Down’s Syndrome – and the mom said that people always tell her, “Wow, your life must be so stressful!” from managing so many children all with health problems. And she said, “My life isn’t stressful; I love my life. The only thing that is stressful is other people’s judgement.” I’m paraphrasing from memory but that really stuck with me.
As someone on the Spectrum, all I can say is BRAVO!
Andi, I appreciate that very much.
Beautiful post – and your son IS beautiful! Hugs to you! Great song!
Krista – Thank you. I’ll take those hugs, some days I need them more then others. 🙂
Wow! Beautiful son. Beautiful song. Beautiful post.
Mrs B – Thank you.
You are an amazing Mother with an amazing son! This post was so powerful and I hope it reaches a lot of people. Thanks for introducing me to a new band I hadn’t heard of before! 🙂
Sarah – Thank you. He is amazing. I hope you like he band, I love them.
I’m not sure if my comment went through before, but this is such a heart-felt post. You are a wonderful Mother with an amazing Son! I hope this post reaches a lot of people and touches their hearts as it did mine. Thank you also for introducing me to a new band I hadn’t heard of before.
I can relate your story. I was picked on during school and didn’t have many friends! Your son IS beautiful!
Jennifer – Thank you. It took me a long time for me to learn that I didn’t need anyone’s approval and to like myself. That’s why I give everything I have to those that I do consider friends, and why I fight for the things I care about and believe in.
I haven’t heard this before. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂 Really beautiful and amazing.
Beth – Thank you.
*tears* I loved everything about this post. Just beautiful, The song, your son and your attitude. This post gives me all kinds of hope.
Tammi – Thank you. Wait for the next post. There is undeniable ugliness but behind that hope too. It surprised me. Actually, it shocked me.
I felt your heart and your love for your son so much throughout this post. Beautifully written and the song is perfect.
Thank you Liz.
What I find most beautiful is people who find a reason to smile even when so many others try to give them reasons not to. Your son has such a beautiful smile.
Jessica – He does have a beautiful smile at that, thanks. It pulls my heart strings every time I see it.
Thank you for the very beautiful story 🙂
Katherine – You’re welcome, thanks for taking the time to read it.
So sorry for what you went through with the FB page. Some people just have no decency.
Your post made me cry. I’m not happy that you feel that way, but it is comforting to know that someone else feels the same. I, too, am terrified to die, or become frail. My 2 sons have special needs, although they don’t have DS. My younger son (who is 9)is cognitively between 1-2 years old. I am so scared of what will happen to him when I am gone or am no longer able to care for him.
Your son is beautiful. So is mine. I hope someday the world will realize it too.
Misha – Thank you. While I’m glad either of us worries about this I am glad you know other people feel the same.
I had not heard of Oleander and this song. Thank you for sharing it! I love hearing new music. Blessings 🙂
LaVonne – You’re welcome
What a heartfelt pots. The beautiful things I search for are people who share bits of their lives. Thank you
Onica – Thank you for taking the time to read it.
what a touching post and an amazing song! I love the photo of your Son–you have definitely been Blessed with SOMEONE BEAUTIFUL!
Pamela – Thank you. I have been blessed. He is everything I never knew I wanted.
This is a great heartfelt post and your son is adorable.
Giveaways 4 Mom – Thank you on both counts.
awe what an amazing post and your son is beautiful!
Kristyn – Thanks very much.
What a beautiful post!
Ashley – Thank you.
What a beautiful, beautiful post. And I like the accompanying song!
Rosey, thank you. I love that song.
What a beautiful touchy post. I loved it and it made me shed some tears. As everyone has mentioned you are one amazing mother who has a very amazing child! Thank you for sharing! xoxo
Liyahvvendetta – Thank you for taking the time to read it.
What a touching post. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. 🙂
Thanks Shannon.
Beautiful post! You are a wonderful mother with an amazing heart 🙂
Melanie – Thanks so much.
Beautiful post!
Deb – Thanks friend. Hope all is well with you.
Such an inspiring post! I’ve never heard of this band before but this song really is Something Beautiful! Thanks for sharing.
To me, something beautiful is sharing, caring, and helping each other.